Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Stage 5: Anticipation of returning

Back in October I posted about The Emotional Cycle of Deployment:

1) Anticipation of Departure
2) Detachment and Withdrawal
3) Emotional Disorganization
4) Recovery and Stabilization
5) Anticipation of Return
6) Return Adjustment and Renegotiation
7) Reintegration and Stabilization

Now that the deployment is coming to an end and Travis will be home in a couple of weeks I am really feeling stage 5. Actually, I have experienced the whole cycle up to this point just how it has been described. I guess the Navy has researched this topic enough to know what they are talking about.

STAGE FIVE: ANTICIPATION OF RETURNING. About 4-6 weeks prior to spouse coming home, people begin to feel a sense of anticipation "He's coming home and I'm not ready!"

1) Compile a long list of things still left to do and begin to pick up the pace to get things done.

2) Experience feelings of joy, excitement in anticipation of the spouse's return and being together again.

3) Experience feelings of fear and apprehension. "Does he still love me?" "Will he have changed?" "Will he like what I've done?"

4) Clean house of activities required to fill the void- now- to make room for the man again. Some resentment may be felt at having to give up some of the things and having to change again.

5) Experience process of evaluating- "I want him back but what am I going to give up?"

6) Feel tense, nervous and apprehensive- burying fears/concerns in busy work and activities.

7) Experience a sense of restlessness again but it is generally productive. Some spouses may feel confused due to the conflicting emotions they are having.

8) Put off important decisions until the husband's home gain.

9) Experience changes in eating and sleeping patterns developed while the spouse was gone.

10) Children also go through a range of emotions and react to the temperament of the parent.

I just hope I can get everything done that I want to before Travis comes home. We are down to less than 2 weeks now!


Travis Mortimer said...

The anticipation and being caught up in all the preparations are not made any easier by a sudden change of plans. The Japan plan was easy...everything was already in place to do that. This last curve ball has definitely given us plenty to keep busy. I love you and will see you soon.

Meredith said...

I can't wait. I love you too.

Julie said...

I'm so excited for you both! I can see that those changes would be hard but you guys are awesome and will be fine!